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How to Recognize and Avoid this Manipulative Practice in Love
Negging is a psychological manipulation technique that has gained popularity in flirting and seduction contexts.
The term is a combination of “negative” and “pegging” (from the verb “to peg,” meaning to prick or criticize).
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This strategy involves making negative comments disguised as jokes or praise, with the goal of lowering the other person's self-esteem so that they feel more vulnerable and inclined to seek approval.
How to Identify Negging in Your Relationships
Identifying "negging" can be challenging, as comments are often disguised as jokes or praise. However, there are some warning signs that can help you recognize this practice:
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- Ambiguous or contradictory comments: The manipulator may give praise followed by disguised criticism, leaving the person confused about how to feel about themselves.
- Focus on appearance or personal vulnerabilities: Negging often manifests itself in comments about another person’s physical appearance, abilities, or personal characteristics, with the aim of undermining their self-confidence.
- Disregard for the other person's feelings: The manipulator may ignore the victim's boundaries or feelings, making insensitive or disrespectful comments under the guise of being “sincere” or “playful.”
- Consistent pattern of behavior: If negative comments seem to be a frequent and systematic occurrence, the individual may be practicing “negging” as a conscious manipulation strategy.
- Intention to unbalance power in the relationship: “Negging” is generally used to put the other person in a position of inferiority, thus increasing the manipulator’s self-esteem.
How to Avoid Negging
- Pay attention to the comments you receive and reflect on how they make you feel.
- Set healthy boundaries in your relationships and don't be afraid to express your needs.
- Trust your intuition. If something seems off, it's important to investigate and seek support if necessary.
- Value yourself and remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration in all your interactions.
Curiosities about 'Negging'
- The term “negging” was popularized by Neil Strauss’s book “The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists,” which describes the techniques used by “pickup artists.”
- In addition to diminishing the victim's self-esteem, neglect can also create a cycle of emotional dependency, where the person constantly seeks the manipulator's approval.
Benefits of Identifying and Avoiding Negging
- Healthier Relationships: By avoiding “negging,” you build relationships based on mutual respect and open communication.
- Preserved self-esteem: Identifying “negging” can help you keep your self-esteem and confidence intact, preventing them from being affected by manipulative comments.
- Greater assertiveness: By setting healthy boundaries, you develop assertive skills that are essential for healthy, positive relationships.
Applications for Monitoring Relationships
There are apps that can help identify manipulative patterns in relationships. Some examples include:
- Youper: This emotional health app uses artificial intelligence to help identify thought and behavior patterns that may indicate emotional manipulation.
- iMoodJournal: This app allows you to track your emotions over time, helping you identify patterns of behavior in relationships.

Conclusion
Identifying and avoiding “negging” is essential to maintaining healthy and respectful relationships. By being aware of the signs of emotional manipulation and setting healthy boundaries, you can protect your self-esteem and build relationships based on mutual respect and honesty.
Always remember to value yourself and seek out relationships that contribute to your emotional and mental well-being.
Download the applications here
Youper – Android/iOS
iMoodJournal – Android/iOS